Here we are, Part 3. In the last part I mainly covered San Antonio because that is where most of you will be staying, so in this part I’ll try and talk more about other places on the island so you understand it a bit better.

“Tell me about other places, Pat”

Ok, I will.

The main places (which you as a worker will go to) are; San Antonio, Playa D’en Bossa, San Rafael, San Jose, Santa Eulalia and Ibiza Old town. I’ve pretty much talked about all the shit San An has to offer so I’ll briefly cover these.

Playa D’en Bossa – Pretty much your second home after San An. This is like San An but cleaner and less of the drunk English people. It has more of the high end Hotels, bars and clubs (I’ll talk about those later).

It has Steak and Shake, which is pretty fucking delicious if you ask me. It’s like where workers go to eat, if they’ve had a good week.

San Rafael – The only thing I know about San Rafael is it has a restaurant called Can Pilot and its banging. Other than that it has a church thast nobody cares about & you drive passed it to get to Amnesia… and that’s pretty much that.

Santa Eulalia – Kevin and Perry’s villa which is a restaurant and expensive boats. That’s pretty much it. Oh and you can’t say it without sounding daft.

San Jose – Not gonna lie to you, I couldn’t tell you what it’s like because I very rarely go. Its more just little shops and nice restaurants. Not something you actually give a fuck about so I’ll stop talking about it.

Ibiza Old Town – The old town is quite a cool place, like pretty much everywhere in Ibiza apart from San Antonio. It just looks old as fuck and has loads of little restaurants. It does however, have an open-air cinema if you ever want to impress a bird or fella or whatever it is you’re into. I know its 2019 now so I’ll probably offend someone some how.

It also has the Dalt Villa which famously hosts the IMS parties which to be fair, are ridiculously good. Well I say the Dalt villa is famous for that, that’s not like a factual thing. It is to me and the rest of us party goers, but in actual fact its famous because its an old castle or some shit.

So, if you care about any of that boring crap. Google it.

(Other search engines are available) (But nobody actually uses them)

The Art of Not Going Out Every Day.

Now I know this may sound like a stupid idea because it’s Ibiza, but stick with me on this one.

Learning to stay in and recuperate as well as saving the bank balance is an art. It is a very hard skill to acquire. However, it is possible.

You see, the worst kind of “Ibiza Worker”. Are the ones who give it absolute ‘Billy big bollocks’, saying how they are doing the season, “can’t wait to spend the summer there”, “leaving shitty UK behind”, “I’ll see you in 5 months”.

The usual shit.

Then they arrive, spend every night out buying swimming pool amounts of booze and copious amounts of other stuff

They become so wrapped up in the party side of the place that they actually forget the whole point of being a ‘Worker’, is to have a fucking job.

Even the lookies have a job, where as these idiots just sit in their gaff all day moaning that they’re skint and hungry and eventually end up leaving before July has even shown its face.

Yeah, there are people who save enough in the winter to be able to fund a non-working season, but if you haven’t – DO NOT GET DRAGGED INTO THEIR LIFESTYLE.

They can afford to just sit around and do fuck all, let them do that. Don’t let them persuade you to miss an interview or a shift because they want to go to the beach or go finger themselves to MK.

You need to work to survive and enjoy the Island for as long as possible. So don’t blow out early on.

I mean I still pretty much go out every single night, but that’s not the point.

“Right I Want To Get Mangled, Where Can I Go”

So, this is pretty much the main reason people choose to do a season in Ibiza over the other resorts available.

Let’s face it, the others are cheaper and probably A LOT easier.

HOWEVER, they do not give home to literally some of the best clubs in the world.

Every club has it’s pro’s and con’s, I could literally chat all day about what is good and bad with each but I won’t. The best things about these places are that you can make your own decision. I know so many people with different opinions on each club. Everyone has different taste.

For me, the ones I could not live without are Eden (because it holds a special place for me personally, and they are going to have a huge year this year!), DC10, Amnesia, Underground, Pikes and back in the day, Sankeys.

Me personally, I’m not too fussed over Pacha, Hi or Ushuaia, maybe for the Elrow parties held at Ushuaia or Glitterbox at Hi, maybe go to Ants now and then – but apart from those I find them 2 gaffs to be money orientated and full of gimps.

Sankeys, unfortunately for you lot, is not the club it once was. I could spend 7 days a week in that place and still feel like it wasn’t enough.

Amnesia’s terrace is like a holy ground. It will be strange for it to no longer host Music On until the sun comes up, however the club as a whole still holds some amazing nights. Do Not Sleep on Thursday showcases some of the best music on the Island.

DC10 holds possibly the 2 best nights on the island (In my opinion)

You have, Paradise, which is just a non-stop education of music, and then you have Circo Loco… what a spectacle. Rave from daytime, through the night and into the day again. The DC10 garden is possibly my favourite place for a dance on the whole island.

Pikes. My beloved Pikes.

Yes, It deserves its own little segment.

The late Tony Pikes turned this gaff into a hotel in the 80’s. This place was a favourite spot for people like George Michael, Boy George, Freddie Mercury and many more.

As you grow a little older, Pikes becomes more and more appealing. It’s a mad old place, where the more mature ravers of the island can go and sort of relax, kind of (Because you can sit outside and chat/be social). Then when you are ready for a boogie, you can head inside into the mysterious and intimate rooms where the only policy is to have fun.

You can go from being sat outside relaxing, to being in a bathtub full of balls, singing karaoke, to getting dressed up in the fancy dress room or even just lie down at the back of the dance floor, on a full king size bed.

The beauty of it is, it is guest list only and there is a 25 and over limit.

I do know a lot of people younger than that, that still get in because they don’t act like complete idiots at the entrance and dress appropriately.

The dress code and age limit actually make it so much better, as not everyone can just turn up and get in and that’s what gives it such a nice relaxed but fun vibe.

If you follow my above tip and last long enough, there is a celebration for Freddie Mercury’s birthday, where everyone gets a moustache painted on, on entry!

Food for thought

I’ll come to the end of my series of articles here. With a few little tips and tricks that I would give to any newcomer to the Ibiza worker community

  1. Don’t get aggressive/fight/argue with Lookie Lookies. They are just doing what they need to do to get by, they can be very dangerous people. Seen too many people getting jumped and even a few getting stabbed, over nothing. Most of them are nice and sound; so don’t treat them like cunts.
  2. Taxis can be pretty expensive if you constantly get them everywhere. Check out bus times and try to get them if you cant fund a taxi lifestyle.
  3. Find places that do worker meals or something along those lines. You’d be surprised how good and cheap they are. Burger king and David’s for a start.
  4. Eat.
  5. Don’t be tight; buy a fan. Buy 6 fucking fans if you need them. They will be a godsend in the hotter months.
  6. Close your windows and doors when you leave the apartment. Double check you have locked doors which give access to your building or rooms. Thieves are always watching and trying.
  7. Get friendly with bar owners and bar staff. Cheap or free booze is always helpful.
  8. Do things in the day other than drink. Go check out the many amazing beaches Ibiza has to offer, visit the markets in the north and watch the amazing sunsets.
  9. Keep in contact with people back home.
  10. Don’t lend people money. 9 times out of 10, you wont get it back.
  11. Don’t fall into the seasonal love trap. It happens. You think you have found the one but shit just turns sour or nasty. Not for everyone though, I do know a lot of people who found love but so many end up leaving for or because of a break up.
  12. ENJOY EVERY MOMENT. When you have to leave and head back to reality, you will regret it if you don’t take advantage of the opportunities you had.

I think (and hope), these articles have given you a little entertainment and laughter, but more so an insight into what working in Ibiza is like. It’s hard to give a complete guide and explanation to it as everyone does things differently.

That’s the beauty of the Island. It can have so many different effects on people.

I fell in love with the place as soon as I stepped foot off the plane and spent 5 years of my life making the best memories, so I hope you do to.

Cheers for listening to me talk absolute shit

Stay Classy x

Article written by Pat Hickey